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Coping With Bereavement
Posted by zoyasgulshin
3rd Jul 2017

Bereavement is an aspect of life everyone has to deal with, yet [it remains] a process [with] no clear guidelines. Each individual [deals with and processes death differently making it almost impossible to offer a one-size-fits-all solution. What I will say is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve regardless of what those around you may say. Grief is like a rollercoaster, with its high points and low points, steep drops and cycles. However, (unlike a rollercoaster) these points are unforeseeable. Having myself experienced the ďrollercoasterĒ journey that is grief and following extensive reading on the subject, I wanted to share some advice, which I hope will aid at least one person.

1) Music. Music is such a powerful tool and I believe it has the ability to change how we feel. Grief is often a very dark period in our lives and listening to music can help shed some light. Whether youíre blasting out your favourite tunes or humming along to a slow ballad, allow the power of music to affect you.

2) Writing a letter. Although this may be time consuming, writing a letter to your loved one could be one of the most helpful tips in getting you through this grieving period. In this letter note down everything you have left to say to this person, the things that you never got to say, the things that you have always wanted to say. Include your favourite memories with them and all the good times you had. This is such a good way of letting all your emotions out and an effective reliever. And after this? Itís up to you. You can read it as many times as you want, burn it, bury it or hide it away never to be looked at again. And if youíre not much of a writer, you could always record yourself on a smartphone/tablet.

3) Grieve with others. Remember, you are not alone. Alongside yourself, there are others who have been affected by this loss. You may have had different relationships with your loved one but now is a good time for coming together and sharing what you lost. This can help ease the pain as well as make you realise how loved this person was. Allow others in and let them know how youíre feeling so that they can too help you through this hard time.

4) But be still, take some time out for yourself. The relationship you had will be different to the next persons. Being surrounded with others 24/7 gives you no time to reflect on your loss and this may impact how you feel months after the event. Whether you choose to sit in your bedroom or go out on a walk, independent time is definitely an advantage.

5) Transition into a positive mind-set. I am aware how difficult this may seem, but positivity will aid you through this heart-breaking period. Try and think of the person still there with you, just not physically. If it is any condolence, their emotional presence may have the similar effects. Also, try to just think of the good times. Yes you could have had more, and yes you may have had bad times with them, but itís the good times that matter in the end. Be grateful for these and youíll hopefully notice a change in the way you think about this.

Whatever you do, donít forget that itís okay to react differently to others. Donít feel forced to cry or behave opposite to how you used to be. Everyone is different, we each have a different mindset and we all have different methods of coping and thatís okay! I hope I have helped you in some way and I wish you all the best. Thank you x

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