Understanding Depression
Posted by futurism
17th Oct 2016

This has been one of the biggest challenges of having depression. I've felt like this for around 8 years now, and I am still too afraid to tell my family. One friend knows and if there's one thing that has taught me, it's that knowing is not understanding. There are days where he can make me feel better, assures me that he understands how I'm feeling. Then on other days, everything he says is wrong. It's almost impossible some days to want to pick up the phone and talk about how I'm feeling, because talking to people who don't understand how you feel is like speaking in a different language.
I never really realised how abstract depression makes you from the rest of the world. At first I thought it was something that I could just talk about and people understand. My family are of the mindset of "what reason have you got to be sad?", which is why I could never bring myself to tell them. I wish I could just come out with it, but then I would have to talk about all of the reasons that led me down this path. It would have been so much easier just to tell them from the very beginning, rather than spending years living a lie. I don't expect my family and friends to understand depression, but there's a big part of me that wished that they could understand me. The two seem almost synonymous lately, but even the one friend that I told gets tired of my constant low mood sometimes. Maybe one day I will pluck up the courage to tell my family, to get the help that I need, but there will always be that fear that they won't understand.

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