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What Would You Say?
Posted by dirkgently1066
14th Sep 2016

What would you say to depression? Iím sure there are any number of responses to that question.

Perhaps simply, why? Why me? What did I do wrong? Itís only right to feel sad. After all, depression has cast a dark shadow over so much of my life, highlighting the negative in any situation, reinforcing the worst thoughts I hold about myself over and over again. Where others saw sun, I saw clouds. Where others saw a world of colour, I saw only through a filter of black and white.

Or perhaps, how dare you? Itís only right to feel angry. After all depression has in some ways destroyed my best years. When others were out partying, having fun and making relationships, I withdrew into my shell, a prisoner of my own mind.

Or how about, what next? Itís only right to feel fear. After all if depression has cast a shadow this dark for this long, can it ever truly retreat? Even today, right now as I write this, I remain crippled by an anxiety of perception, scared to reach out to others, holding myself back and reigning myself in for fear of being rejected, of judgement being passed and reaffirming the case for the prosecution I have already formed against myself.

These are all perfectly valid things to think. So, what would I say? I would say thank you.

Thank you for showing me how far I had fallen so that I could understand how far I had to go to climb my way back up.
Thank you for showing me that I could make the climb, that I am stronger than I knew.
Thank you for helping me find the path to understanding, acceptance and empathy so that I might experience the life changing journey of recovery.
And thank you for helping me to understand the simplest, most important lesson of all; you can change.

Depression doesnít define me but it has shaped the person I am learning to become. And for that, itís only right to feel happy.

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