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12th Jul 2011

Sitting in the pew, not knowing what would ensue
Friends nearby with drinks in hand, quietly waiting for the band
Listening to the intro sounds, eyes closed from all around
Then the blinding flash of light, my wailing noise that wasnít right
Taken to the corridor, hands & knees upon the floor
I couldnít stop the grief come out, as I cried wretched scream & shout

When Iíd done I felt elated, my sadness had for now abated
I hugged the guard & told him so, the love I have he had to know
I went on stage with glass in hand, to thank the singer of the band
Then I had to leave the church, my friend didnít leave me in the lurch
He waited till my brother saw, me standing waiting at the door
He took me to his for the night, my family had quite a fright

Some years later whilst asleep, a sudden flash woke me from deep
A vapour trail across my eye, as if Iíd seen it in the sky
Then I felt the anger surge, to let it out was the urge
I held the door & punched it so, the anger I could then let go
And then upon the kitchen floor, the grief I could not hold no more
The emotions that had now come out, raised my spirit I had no doubt

The letter written through the tears, the voice I hadnít heard for years
Not in my ears but as a thought, reminding me what Iíd been taught
Their views they wanted me to share, to send it to I didnít dare
It needs more work to get it right, for now Iíll keep it in our sight
Then their thoughts came through so strong, telling me whatís going wrong
Overwhelmed with joy & love, from spirits that I knew above

But people didnít seen the signs, some had thought Iíd lost my mind
The crisis team they did assess, in hospital it would be best
The thoughts I had were mine to know, itís hard to see what doesnít show
The spirits left me on my own, to understand how I had grown
Gradually as I got stronger, the spirits they would stay much longer
Guiding me along the way, helping me with what to say

Now I listen when I need, some guidance, in my thoughts they feed
Ideas that come into my head, even when asleep in bed
Inspired to write just what I feel, about the things that made me ill
Not sickness anyone can see, emotions stopping me to be
The person that you see today, more confident so I can say
I never want to live that way..Again

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