Is blood thicker than water?
Posted by kazzmotive
8th Sep 2016

There's the question, isn't it?
It was something I was told over and over again, weren't you?
It always came down to forgive anything, excuse anything, allow anything because we are family.
For many years I bought into this, wanted to believe it and above all wanted to be part of a family. Then I grew up, I began to question, to feel unhappy and at a distance from these behaviours.
I began to realise that this was simply an illusion, a way of keeping control, of ignoring wrongs, of allowing destructive patterns to continue within the family unit. I so wanted to be wrong in my thoughts and for many years I believed that my family label of being the 'different one' or being told 'trust you to see it that way, to react that way' where I always thought there was something wrong with me, with what I said and believed, that I was a 'bad' person that if I tried harder then it would be ok.
But it never was.
I took drastic action.
I knew that if I didn't break away from my family and start treating myself with dignity, to value myself and accept me for who I am, as someone who has a lot to offer and to give, then it would continue down the destructive and toxic route.
Has it been easy? No.
Have I sorted it all? No.
Are there regrets? Yes, but I now know that no matter how much you want others to say and do what you hope, they often don't.
I've learned such a lot, grown so much and have moved on to help others build their own self worth and motivation. I'm not the finished product, I never will be as there's always more to learn but hopefully others will take heart at my words and stop the cycle of self blame and self destruct.

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