why I am where I am now
Posted by toni99
8th Jul 2016

my name is Toni and I am a 29 year old woman from Ruislip, my mental health has always been a struggle for as long as I remember. I have been diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder, bpd for short. My life started out ok, don't seem to have any bad memories from before the age of 6 but from then on my life has just continued to weigh me down with unhelpful painful experiences, some have happened through no fault of my own and some have been caused by own way of coping. I find my emotions a daily struggle and seem to have no control of them and they can switch rapidly from one feeling to the other and at different extremes. I also tend to do things to extremes and am surrounded by the evidence of this for example I have developed an interest in all things creative and now my bedroom has turned into hobbycraft! I am always, always looking for something to take me away from my mind because I can't cope with my feelings, I find it hard to cope with how many people have let me down. memories from my past play like a never-ending movie in my head and it just feels like I cant ever permanently escape it, it doesn't seem to end!

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