Diary of a Depressed Girl (1)
Posted by ddg
10th Jun 2016

This is my first ever blog so you'll have to bare with me...

I will begin with my story. I am a 21 year old student who has suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. It culminated in my first year at University. Despite having settled in really well and having had nothing wrong or bad in my life, I was overwhelmed by this sinking feeling of dread and utter sadness and despair but with no reason why. I couldn't cope with it any longer and realised I needed to speak to somone. I went to the doctor, after being unable to hold back the tears in the surgery (mostly due to embarassment of appearing stupid or silly or dramatic, and fear that I felt so down with no explanation) I was referred to the University student wellbeing service. After speaking to a gentle and lovely man, I was advised to try CBT which introduced coping mechanisms to me. I tried these for a while however felt I was kidding myself and just trying to convince myself I was ok. When it got to christmas time I was beside myself with anxiety and depression and visited the doctors again, and practically begged them to put me on medication. This made a HUGE difference and honestly without it, I'm not sure where I would be. However, I still spend the majority of my life anxious and depressed. That's why I am writing this blog - I feel alone when surrounded by my best friends, my life is good but the sinking feeling remains, I struggle to form emotional attachments in relationships for fear of getting hurt again. Ultimately, I aim to learn more coping mechanisms and how to have a happier and more fulfilling life.

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