Looking up..
Posted by emberry
9th Jun 2016

I honestly have days where i feel the entire world just caving in but i also have days the exact opposite, where you feel like your getting better.. Today is a good day, it's still only early but i feel so damn productive. I have 2 job interviews next week, one of which i must overcome one of my biggest (slightly irrational) fear, making a phone call. I have always struggled with making a call, i can manage if i know who it is. I also struggle with picking up the phone if i don't know the person calling, i guess i'm scared of what they have to say.. like giving me bad news. Anyway, i am really looking forward to the future and what it has in store for me but i am afraid of the changes that are happening, they have to be for the best though. I am really happy and confident today but in the back of my mind i know that it could end up being a really crappy day. Yesterday when i got home from seeing my friends in York, my boyfriend gave me a little note book which he said i could use to write it, make notes or whatever i choose. So i have started writing about my day just like i do here just not in this much detail, i started writing about my feelings, what i ate that day, what time it was when i felt that.. so i can keep track of my mental health better; it pays to be this organised. I should also mention i get motor ticks and vocal ticks when i get really stressed out so i'm gonna keep a track of that as well; or how many panic attacks i suffer, minor or otherwise. I just need to remember to stay positive. I miss him today though. #rollontheweekend.

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