I thought i was normal.
Posted by emberry
6th Jun 2016

I am scared. Scared of myself. Scared of getting help and scared of change. Things have been rather slow for me over the last few weeks, i am on the job hunt which is a really scary process. I have an interview for the 11th but i am terrified of going, I'm afraid of the change that comes with it. I recently moved in with my boyfriend (which is an amazing thing, i feel so great about it) but i moved away from my old life, into a place that feels completely alien to me. I have all the support i need, more actually than i ever thought possible; so why do i feel so alone? I am happy, way happier than i was before, it's a fresh start and it scares me. Today has been a bad day, i keep having really bad dreams and so i am scared of falling asleep. I think i'm having panic attacks in my sleep that wake me up, am i the only one? My boyfriend tells me he loves me all the time, he's really been helping me out but i don't want to disappoint him. Today i feel tired, slow, unproductive. I'm currently staying with my boyfriend and his Gran, which is a story for tomorrow. I feel like i need to talk to someone who know's what this is like.

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