Posted by brightdaysbrighthorizon
8th May 2016

Now you have had chance to discuss the finer point of my last blog. EUPD?EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER. Let me discuss my own diagnosis on this before I explain anything else .

So which one am I?

That used to be a question i asked several times a day once I drove myself into the ground worrying about my health and trying to distance myself from my health problems. The fact i suffer auditory and visual hallucinations does not help me in the slightest, Simple answer is I am a sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder but I have other aspects of the illness in fact other illness's to what I have . This will only be a short note upon my illness this time as no doubt i will cover this at other times. To be diagnosed with this condition I have met more than two of the symptoms listed below.

disturbances in and uncertainty about self-image, aims, and internal preferences (including sexual);
liability to become involved in intense and unstable relationships, often leading to emotional crises;
excessive efforts to avoid abandonment;
recurrent threats or acts of self-harm;
chronic feelings of emptiness.

There is evidence that the individual’s characteristic and enduring patterns of inner experience and behaviour as a whole deviate markedly from the culturally expected and accepted range (or “norm”). Such deviation must be manifest in more than one of the following areas:
cognition (i.e. ways of perceiving and interpreting things, people, and events; forming attitudes and images of self and others);
affectivity (range, intensity, and appropriateness of emotional arousal and response);
control over impulses and gratification of needs;
manner of relating to others and of handling interpersonal situations.
The deviation must manifest itself pervasively as behaviour that is inflexible, maladaptive, or otherwise dysfunctional across a broad range of personal and social situations (i.e. not being limited to one specific “triggering” stimulus or situation).
There is personal distress, or adverse impact on the social environment, or both, clearly attributable to the behaviour referred to in criterion 2.
There must be evidence that the deviation is stable and of long duration, having its onset in late childhood or adolescence.
The deviation cannot be explained as a manifestation or consequence of other adult mental disorders, although episodic or chronic conditions may of this classification may coexist with, or be superimposed upon, the deviation.
Organic brain disease, injury, or dysfunction must be excluded as the possible cause of the deviation.Yet my illness was not caused by condition 6 that much we know for certain In fact it was caused due to the treatment my father had which i have subsequently found that many people back in the late seventies and early eighties was administered to higher dose of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Now don't get me wrong I dearly love my biological father even though i seem to have blocked him out due to the trauma of losing him. I'm only left with fleeting images of my dad, the one above all else I want to make proud of me and when i am low he is the one i see telling me its not my time to go. I'm used to ghosts but the shadow people and Red eye phenomena, they scare me beyond words but I will never give in to what i see. Anyway went slightly off topic there, so EUPD does not sound to bad right? It can be the most destructive thing you can suffer from and I have that and subsequent issues arising from it. All will be tackled with in these blog pages, again I dont do this for sympathy I do it to raise awareness of my illness and a illness that so many people suffer from .The internet is not clear on figures for the number of people with this illness, but it is believed to be. 1 in 50 people suffer with BPD in the USA while it is a figure of 1 in 11 people in the united kingdom so with those figures I am not the only one to have this yet it is a condition which is isolating. Due to the fact many of us have a tendency to alienate ourselves. I know i do this from time to time especially when I am in the darkness, but i am now aware at my illness's flare up.

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