New start
Posted by
8th Jan 2016

New year new start isn't exactly original, but I'm hoping I can make a small change in my life if nothing else. Ever since I can remember I've dealt with my "bad moods" and self-harm. I've never been the type of person who can open up and talk about these topics. Even to my close friends or family. In my head I needed to get a grip and to get over myself but as we all know, it's not that easy.

I grew up believing depression was just something people used as an excuse. Call me close minded but there are so many people that throw the term "depression" round like it means nothing. I have always, and still do, refuse to say the D word in person. For years I would slap a smile on my face and push my thoughts to the back of my head. It wasn't until recently that I finally opened up to my fiancÚ and told him everything. People say it's like getting a weight off your chest, but for me that wasn't the case at all. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. But for the first time in my life, I've accepted help.

So this year is about taking small steps to make my life a little more bearable. I know it won't be easy and I'm ready to work through this. I have so many amazing things happening in my life and I refuse to let this ruin any of that for me. It's ruled my life for long enough and now it's time I took control.

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