With depression comes jealousy
Posted by Jakeskiego
18th Dec 2015

You know how some words sound nice regardless of their meaning? Well the word failure even sounds horrible, but when you feel like one like I do it's even worse. That feeling of not being good enough, seeing others around you achieving and being happy. With me, it brings on the depression, what's the point of trying any more? But even worse for me personally, it brings on the jealousy (another word that sounds nasty even if you don't know the meaning). I look at others and see things they can do, achievements they have made and think why can't I do that? It can be ridiculous stuff, like seeing somebody play an instrument. I have never really had an interest in playing an instrument, so why I am jealous of people who can? Ridiculous! I guess it is that feeling of satisfaction I am jealous of, those people have found something they love and have become a success at it, and that the things I enjoy I am not satisfied with. Worst is being jealous of those you are closest to. You love them more than anything, and yet you destroy yourself by creating an invisible barrier of jealousy. For me that is the worst part of suffering from depression, the J word.

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