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Made it through another day
Posted by scarletskye
13th Dec 2015

I'm always being told to be brave, keep fighting and isn't it about time I sorted myself out. Think of my kids.
I want to scream at them, "that's all I do, I think of my kids every day" waking up each morning, still being surrounded by, what I now call, my cloak of darkness, means I made it and if I made it through one day. Then chances are I can get through today.
Today has been bad, I collapsed in tears in front of my 12 year own son, so now I feel like a complete failure, sat there on the kitchen floor, completely broken, sobbing my heart out.
I feel like a bother to everyone, which is why I decided to write this. Least it gets it out right?
I do nothing but moan,, so now I hide away in my room, watching tv, couldn't tell you what's going on, but the sound drowns out the negative voice in my head.
It's gone midnight, I'm shattered , yet I know as soon as I turn the light off my mind will go into over drive and I will still be awake at 3am.
This is my life and I'm dealing with it as best I can, I'm alive that means I'm still fighting. It doesn't matter that I've been in my pjs all day, that I ordered take out for our tea or that I haven't even brushed my hair, its the end of the day, I'm gonna toss and turn in bed for the next few hours, eventually fall asleep, then wake up tomorrow because I'm a fighter and I'm alive.

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