Lost at Sea
Posted by taliterblanche
10th Dec 2015

This is how I believe my depression is.

Your mind is like an ocean. Feelings, secrets and memories are all hidden deep underwater. On the down days, you feel like you are drowning…like you are being pulled into sea, the waves bringing you deeper and deeper into the colder and darker depths of your mind. Here, you feel like you nothing. Emptiness swallows you up and the numbness takes control of your body. You feel like you cannot do anything, but just to hold your breath, and wait. Wait until you run out of air, run out of feeling, run out of life.

On the happy days, you feel like you are floating. You feel Captain of your own ship, the Mermaid Princess of the underwater kingdom down below you, but most of all…you feel light. On the calm days at sea, there are no waves, no splashes and no ripples to make you sink. You leave your bad feelings and empty thoughts locked in a chest hidden in the darkest crevice at the bottom of the ocean; it is locked. The only way to open it and let the waves drag you under, is by giving into the dark.

Some days, you can feel like you are drowning. That you are not getting anywhere no matter how hard you try to swim. That you do feel alone and it would not matter if you drowned or not. The fact is, you cannot drown without attempting to swim. You kick and kick and try and try until you do feel the light takeover your body – until you feel the surface of the ocean. You try until you are still and floating; your mind at peace with itself. The ocean is your mind…whether or not it is calm or a rough, is up to you.

There are people that can save you from drowning. You have just got to let them in…open up and let people in. We can float together.
Peace x

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