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Living with Anxiety
Posted by marybeth1996
17th Nov 2015

Anxiety past and present

Palpitations sweaty hands my heart beat 100 miles per hour and all it took was one memory to trigger it all over night, I was 13 my body was changing at a fast rate it was then I learnt my life was turned upside down by anxiety .

I walked to school feeling panicked I kept feeling like someone was following me my irrational thought had already taken over I was thinking this is it someone will grab me and I'll be murdered in cold blood.
I got to school over the past few weeks my friends noticed my behaviour everyone was looking at me as if I was crazy then I became distant I hide under the stairs in the dark.

My friends would then join me with lunch but I was not eating at school as my stomach would feel like the waves on a windy day tossing and churning to the though of food.
I'm walking home and I feel weak I feel sick like my stomach eating away at me even if I was to be killed in cold blood now they would have more of a chance so I kept walking home it then started to rain this did not faze me at all, soaking wet I went on walking feeling like my world was falling upon my feet.

This continued for the next few months I thought it was a hormonal thing teenagers go though at my age but then I had mood swings of wanting to not live and thinking of ways I could pass as if it was an accident this was when I knew I had to get help.

After a few months my mum and dad knew I was struggling with mental health I needed help but I refused I was so low and felt nothing of any emotion I hardly smiled, I never laughed and I had bad eating habits I got to 14 stone and that was when I knew it was going to far, walking slow in front of cars so id be in danger.

My view point of this autobiography is how anxiety can affect you and people around to stay strong and having a structure in your every day life can help you deal with anxiety. I would hope my story would help others to relate to my story and to never feel alone or ashamed of there mental illness no matter what society may label you.

I am writing this autobiography with my viewpoint to share my story in my own opinion the way I have described my story as read from my point of view is how I felt and how i dealt with my problems with help from family, medication and counselling.

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