Life on the Edge
Posted by harveysmiles
3rd Nov 2015

Consider the BPD sufferer
What does your mind conjure up?

Consider what you have heard about Borderline personality disorder? what comes to mind? Is it Glenn Close in the movie ‘Fatal Attraction’ or something similar?

We are renown for our impulsivity, self-destructive nature, moodiness, anger, and, perhaps most importantly, our tendency to have very intense and stormy relationships. Moreover, we often have additional life problems, often the result of our impulsive nature, on top of this disorder such as substance abuse, eating disorders, financial difficulties, promiscuity, etc.

But we are not all alike. Sensationalism sells and therefore cases of BPD in the media are exaggerated to entice the viewer. The reality of BPD is quite different. People with BPD do not have split personalities. We experience mood instability which can give people the impression that we are moody and changeable but this, I assure you is beyond the control of the sufferer. We are not bunny boilers, neither, as I have heard from a number of health professionals, a lost cause.

We are all too often described as attention-seeking. Borderline often develops after childhood trauma, and constant invalidation and it becomes ingrained that we only receive the help we need if we display a desperate , urgent need for that help even if it actually means placing ourselves in mortal danger.

One of the symptoms of BPD is unstable interpersonal relationships. Often our fear of abandonment overrides our rational thinking and we subconsciously push the person away. With the right support and the right partner a person with BPD can be a part of a loving relationship. I am living proof of that fact and am in fact engaged to be married at the ripe old age of 55. It has taken me this long to find someone with enough patience to put up with me but he is actually a stabilising influence.

It is very difficult to cry out for help only to be met with irritation, fear and resentment. We are not all monsters. There are those of us out there who are trying very hard to get it right and to be able to function in the everyday world. So please don’t dismiss us on the 3 words of a diagnosis. Try to get to know us a little bit before you pass judgement.

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