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Healing through writing part 3
Posted by arabellachute
18th Oct 2015

Today - I have come of my anti depres drugs and am following a normalish life. I still get my black cloud, black hole or black dog days but now I talk about it, I accept and I work with it.

A couple of months into my recovery a friend in south africa, said 'what if you saw depression as a friend not an enemy'

I laughed so hard, when he mentioned this - how ridiculous, does he not understand at all, how can he sit there and say that - A friend, it makes me suicidal what is friendly about that, its ruined my life!

But, through daily (ish) practice of meditation, trying to live mindfully and learning to listen to my body and looking after myself, I have realised maybe that suggestion is not a mad as it first seems.

My depression is always telling me something - and now I listen and when I listen, I learn something - I learn something that I wouldn't have if it wasn't something for depression. It has made me change my life but my current life is a much happier place then it was when I was ignoring the depression. It force me to made changes in areas and it has forced me to ask questions about how I live and how I think about living.

It has turned me into a better version of myself.

I still get dark days but I listen, watch and learn from them and I always come out stronger the other side.

I talk about my depression, A couple of months ago I wrote an open honest email to my friends whom I have cancelled on, let down, failed to get in touch with over the last 6 years and it was one of the best things I have done! I told me who understands or who doesn't, who my real friends were and who weren't. People opened up to me about their depression and have been encouraged to talk to other people about it after my email and it has been forwarded to other people as a friendly hand.

I will blog this email next: under 'An honest open letter to friends about DP'

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