Posted by brainfuzz
23rd Aug 2015

Where to start? Been suffering from depression and anxiety for a few years now. Medication has helped keep the anxiety at bay but I am left with brain fuzz.

I don't discuss my depression with anyone. Everyone thinks I am a strong, happy, life and soul type person. A good shoulder to cry on, good listener. Indeed, on the outside I am all of the above. Inside I am desperate for help. I am not happy. I can't think straight. I can't make decisions. I am living day to day in a brain fuzz.

Up until recently I have just coasted along, keeping up the pretence that all is well in my world, but it has now affected my business and I am in trouble. It's getting like it takes for ever to do simple mental maths. I sometimes drift off when people are talking to me. Go into my own little world. Where I should be worried and making effort to get thing running efficiently, I just don't have the incentive, or even care.

My home life fares no better. No libido. No feelings for my husband, my home, life in general. Where I was always feisty, decisive, I now let people walk over me, especially my husband, because I just don't care anymore.

I do think about dying quite a bit. Wonder if it's worth it. I have a wonderful grandchild, which is the only thing keeping me going.

Having said all of the above, if you were one of my friends or family you would never know. I seem to be able to keep up the act day to day, coping inside with my brain fuzz.

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