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Posted by Speighty07
22nd Jul 2015

I was recommended to write down my thoughts and story on a blog as a way of dealing with stress and emotion.

Well as a starting point I am 31 years old - I have recently been struggling with depression. It's a strange one but around 5 years ago my father and then my mother passed away very quickly. At that point I was very over weight and lost as I'm sure you can imagine. Very shortly after my dad died I found out that my father abused my older sister. It's something that I don't really know how to deal or accept - he has gone yet I'm so angry and hurt yet I'm simply unable to really react to it.

5 years down the line I have lost 13 stone 7 and am weighing in about 12 stone 10 which I'm so incredibly proud of. Unfortunately I don't think I dealt with stuff from the past and was very robotic - now it's left me very lonely and unable to allow myself to be happy. I work a long working week in an office - I just seem to drift by each day - I crave to move on and do something I love, meet someone and just be happy. I am finally taking steps to try and sort myself out - personal trainer, speaking to someone about how I'm feeling and writing down my thoughts. It's going to be a long process but life is for living and I feel I deserve to be happy!

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