my life as an outsider
Posted by
15th Mar 2011

rite so most people wont understand half of what i say but still

the whole of my life iv been bullied day in day out i would go home and cry in my bedroom on my own ...even in primary school. im in yr 10 now and my secondary school life has beeen terrible. a year ago i thought i was mental i couldnt controll my self at all .i felt like my life was useless and that know one liked me ... in matter of fact only about 14 people did . i could see my life falling into pieces and that terrifyed i found it hard to sleep and i was veryeasily ennoyed.

this year has been terrible about 5 months ago i broke up with a bf who was very supportive and have been struggling ever since . about a week ago i just cracked and i cut myself it became a habit for 2-3 days but from constant nagging from a close friend who had gone throught self harm herself i managed to stop well kindof today i feel right now as im writing this that i need to get my blade and do it again to let my anger out as alot of things have halppened today ... iv been called name by many of people and also my exbest friedn who i fell out with 3 days ago.... becaus eof this i nearli cracked and i feel real depressed i just feel like someone stabbing me in the heart a million times ... iv gone to a counseler but she wasnt there soim relying on the support from my friedns they leave school in about 35 days because they leave for study leave as they are in the year above me .... im going to be soo alone when they leave and everyday it seems to get worse ......... its hard to keep my temper under control and i have like today lashed out at the people who i love most....this hurts me alot ..... i seem to blame myse;lf for everything as this is all i know as people told me this day in day out ... i feel soo lonely and even more now lately as i think i have relised that im bisexual this isnt much of a problem as some of my friends are but if anyone else frinds out then the amont of abuse that would come my way would be horrific ..........

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