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Understanding why
Posted by lovelife1
7th Jun 2015

It's the first question we ask - Why me? Especially the person with depression, but you find yourself asking this too - why does this have to happen to me? To the person I love? It's only natural to question but in the end it doesn't really help matters but can in fact leave you feeling more frustrated than before. What I think can help is trying to understand what good has come from this illness/situation. And there is something. Here are some why's for you - some good things that I think can and do come from living with and loving someone who has depression.

1. Strengthening your relationship: This one is so key to understand and recognize, going through something like depression together is not like most other illnesses as even though they have 'better' periods, it never really goes away. But as you show your loved one that you will stick by them even through their very worst patch, that you love them even in their darkest moments - there is nothing greater to increase your love for each other and bring you even closer together.

2. Understanding your partner better: I suppose this one goes along with number one but hopefully as your partner communicates with you, you understand things about them that you never would have known before. We all have insecurities and weaknesses and things we worry about - depression seems to bring these things to the forefront but as our partner opens up, we understand them and in doing so, can help them better.

3. Focusing on the good: Depression gives them a negative outlook which can rub off on you, but probably instead of getting sucked into this, we focus on the positive instead, including the most positive aspects of the person that we love. After doing this for a while, this attitude sticks and we hopefully will find ourselves finding more and more things to be grateful for every day as well as noticing the little things that make us smile or remind us of whats good in our lives.

4. Looking outwards: caring for someone who has an illness, including mental illness, forces us to be selfless. Okay, okay, I'm not always great at this but it does make you look outside of yourself more instead of just looking in. You tend to put their needs before yours. You tend to think of them before you think of yourself. I guess that's what any good marriage should be like but depression certainly helps you along. Selfless service for others, especially if those others are people you truly love - brings true and lasting happiness. This is a work in progress for me by the way as I know the theory is excellent but need a lot more practice - and patience!

Depression doesn't have to be all doom and gloom - good things can come out of it - for you and the one you love and maybe that's the 'why' you've been searching for.

https://livingwithandlovingsomeonewithdepression.wordpress.com/

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