Search

Blog

When will it end?
Posted by Alittlelost
14th Mar 2011


I was diagnosed with anorexia at the age of 19. I was attending University and was in my second year when my anorexia took a turn for the worst. I was admitted into hospital in 2008 for ten months. During my time there i regained my weight to healthy and learnt how to maintain my weight for when i left. We attended many groups like CBT and interpersonal effectivness and also attended one to one therapy which i am still undergoing. It's been nearly two years now since i left the hospital unit and i have kept my weight healthy enough to stay out of there. There have been weeks and even months where i have reverted back to old behaviours, however i am still maintaining.
I took me a year being out of hospital to begin to pick my life back up. With the help of hospital staff i got myself a rented flat and started some voluntary work. It was lonely to begin with, living on my own and i found it difficult to start my life from scratch again. On my 22 birthday my mother brought me a kitten which was a very welcome surprise. She keeps me company, knows when i'm happy and cuddles me when i am sad. After another year i decided i wanted to have a carear in nursing. So i went through the stressfull process of interviews and CVs. Due to the nature of the course i not only had to have an interview with lecturers but also an occupational health doctor. I got in...Yes i thought i can begin my life again. I was so happy. I knew it would be difficult still batteling anorexia and learning however i was determind to do it.
Seven months ago i was diagnosed with psychosis. Bang!! my life has fell apart again. with the psychosis along came clinical depression, anxiety self harm drug abuse and my eating disorder. The three harmful ways i cope with stressfull situations. It wasn't long before my occupational health doctor started to worry about me and my course. My secound appointment with him since being diagnosed with psychosis and he has made me take intruption of studies for a 11 months. I'm devestated. My family and friends have been really supportive telling me i now have the time to really sort my mental health problems out, to concentrate on myself and the real reasons behind why my anorexia developed, why i self harm and abuse drugs, the reasons i have avoided for so long.
I know this process is going to be extreamly difficult for me but i know this is the only way if i am wanting to go back to university, which i despreatly do. There is no easy way to talk about sexual abuse but hopefully with the help from my therapist and CPN i will eventually be able to talk about them.

Share Email a friend Comments (1)