Posted by labrador
6th May 2015

What irritates me most about depression and anxiety is the way it shuts me off from other people. When I am down it's not that I find it hard to connect it's almost as if I forget other people exist. When it passes, it's as if the door has been flung open and suddenly life is available again. I always believed this feeling would pass and it's taken me a while to come to conclusion this is something I need to manage, daily. It's so hard to be calm and level headed about it! What I really want to do is stamp my foot and say NO, shove it to the back of my mind and go and have a large glass of wine. Unfortunately this tried and tested method is decidedly ineffective. Tantrums don't work, but for me, meditation does. I suppose you could say its facing the feelings in a calm, measured way rather than shouting and trying to throw things at them. I hate that it does! It seems so intangible! I am not a meditative person! This is why Ruby Wax's endorsement really helped me. She also seems wild and hardworking, throwing herself at things and achieving success, yet she had the discipline and sense to really have a good old poke around her depression. To find an alternative route through that however unlikely it seems was effective and endorsed by people at Oxford University!! This really was the icing on the cake. Meditation is still a pain in the backside, but I sort of love it, because it brings me peace. Which is so precious when for so many years life was a bit of a sandstorm.

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