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what in
Posted by andyman62
24th Mar 2015

Just to let you know before I begin I have never spoke honestly of this night i choose to do something stupid, and there it is "something stupid". Why can't we call it what it is and that's the point. Attempted suicide, kill myself or just try to stop the darkness inside. I guess the reason is simple to explain shame, weakness guilt all the feeling that has driven me to this moment in time. I have wanted to shout from the rooftops I can't deal with this any more. So I ask a question have you ever wondered what drives people to murder, rape and child abuse, I have, so what drives people to suicide what goes through our minds at that moment. For what seems for ever I have asked myself this and I found a million reasons but I find them sounding like exusses, is the answer simpler than a big explanation or analysis. With a story that spans 53 years something was going to snap eventually and at the age of 11 I had already accepted it was going to happen eventually. I am stuggling to come to terms with what I did and looking for answers to not get to.that dark place again, a constant battle to avoid the triggers but first I have to find out what they are to avoid them in the first place. I want to write more as I have so much more to say but I'm finding it hard to see the screen so I apologies and I will come back to this as I am determined to find out the answers and want to share them with people who just might understand.

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