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living with panic disorder
Posted by vglass
7th Mar 2015

So my 14 CBT sessions I was allocated to be cured from what ever is happening in my mind is coming to and end am I better? No, do I need longer? Yes, will I get longer? Well that's a whole new story, living in my head sucks, im tired, im preoccupied, suffering for 9 years, I have become immune to this way of thinking I probably need 50 sessions and 20 of them just to start to believe it can change, yes I have faced trauma after trauma and now I live in constant fear "something bad will happen" I skip the whole cycle and triggers now I just face fear all the time living on the edge of panic, its a lonely world full of avoidance just to be in control of the thoughts that appear after the school run, after visiting a shop after every headache every stomach ache battling the constant thoughts, the scratching the tense feelings it never ends, is this how my life is now is it time to make friends in this place my head sits in daily is it the norm, fear fear fear like your eyes are fixated on a horror movie constantly on edge, I tried meds, its been worse its got better it comes it goes the highs the lows, the lost sole now empty of self esteem and confidence who hides away wondering if it will ever go away....

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