Thanks for the welcome guys, it's nice to be with people who understand to some degree what your going through.

My Husband did suggest writing it down, And I had thought about it, I'm used to writing as for a number of years writing was all I'd do. But still get the over whelming feeling of being stupid not being able to just go in and say whats wrong. We recently had a new dr who knows nothing about my History and problems and it feels like your just another name or number. The idea of going in and telling someone makes me feel sick at the thought. Another problem is if I did go and ended up getting help how do I explain to my family where I'm going, we are very close and they know my movements every second of the day, they don't know the severity of the problem and I had to lie the last time I was in therapy, I'm not sure if I could go through the lying all over again, I don't want to lie but I can't hurt them by telling them the truth either.

please talk to your gp and get some help. if you are so close to your family, then i would think they already know there is something wrong and are hoping you will get some help. maybe you could ask someone to go with you, hugs, Judith xxx

I will go to see the dr, maybe go through the nurse first less daunting and I think it would be easier to approach a female. I know I have to do it if I'm ever going to feel better.

About my family, although we are extreemly close, I mean that in the sense we do everything together, but when it comes to talking and feelings we couldn't be further apart. I have spent many years hiding how I feel from them that it's second nature to me. even when I was a teenager they never knew there was anything wrong until I got to breaking point and ended up in a unit, even then we were forced with family therapy the awkwardness and inability to communicate they gave up on us. I can't show weakness with them my biggest fear is failure and I can't let them down. If they knew they would only feel immense guilt and wouldn't cope . I couldn't ever make them feel like that.

I don't have anyone who could come with me, I only have one friend who lives too far away and my husband is away as he works on the rigs for a month.

Sometimes the more I talk the more I feel like a burden that I shouldn't be unhappy, I shouldnt be here going on about my problems.

what you feel is normal, love. i think many of us have isolated ourselves and pushed our loved ones away at some time. does your practice have a female doctor?
being depressed has nothing to do with weakness - it is an illness, hugs, Judith xxx

Sometimes I think we do go through this alone.
I feel ashamed of feeling low,
I feel ashamed that I have bpd,
and Im not going to cntact cmht after 16 months of therapy,
it would feel like failure,
ah well.

I've just registered as a user and it made me cry (still am), as I saw the title of this message.

I'm going through a tough time right now, so it's nice to know there are other people like me out there.

i am feeling so alone, and depressed, i have been previously diagnosed with borderline bipolar disorder, i cant cope with day to day stuff, my husband is feeling put on and falling out of love with me by the day, please help i want to rescue my marriage

Have you spoken to him about how you feel?
Try to include him as much as possible, he may feel useless and unable to help you or not even know how to

[quote="Mod1one"][color=#808080] Feeling lonely, isolated, or in need of support and understanding from someone who really knows what it's like to experience mental illnes

Hi confusedme, welcome to the board x